


Something Whole

by LyingHonesty



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Season 7 tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-21
Updated: 2012-10-21
Packaged: 2017-11-16 18:01:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/542267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyingHonesty/pseuds/LyingHonesty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam's just happy that Castiel is happy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something Whole

“Think of him as a child,” Sam offered.

“What?” Dean rounded on Sam, and Sam couldn't help flinching back slightly. Dean sucked in a breath when he saw the movement, and forced himself to relax. Smile, Frank had told him. Do your fucking job, and do it with a smile, even if it breaks you. “Cas isn't a child, Sam.”

“I know he isn't.” Sam ran a hand through his hair, and Dean could see the weariness weighing on his shoulders. “I know. But... Dean, if he was human, he would be shattered, completely destroyed. He's an angel, and it still broke him. He took everything on all at once, and he didn't have something to hold onto like I did. He's in a regressed state.” Sam shrugged. “You're good with kids, right?”

Dean shook his head. “I can't, not with Cas. I can't just, pretend -”

“Okay, fine. I'll go talk to him.”

Sam got to his feet and walked away. Dean watched him go, stunned.

“Kid's got guts,” Meg commented wryly. “Still wish he would've stepped up way back when. Sammy boy would make a great king.”

“You wanted to kill him,” Dean snapped. Meg shrugged.

“Had to make sure I wasn't about to follow some weakling, didn't I?”

–

Sam walked into the room they'd given Castiel. It was obvious that it had once been a child's room, midway between a nursery and a playroom. Castiel was on the floor, Legos spread around him. Sam smiled and picked his way over to Castiel, crouching in front of him. “What are you building?” he asked. Castiel looked up in surprise, and smiled slightly.

“Heaven,” he answered reverently. “The way I remember it.”

“Can I help?”

Castiel tilted his head and watched Sam scrutinously, as though he was searching for any sign of deception. Sam willingly opened his mind to Castiel, not focusing too hard on anything, but allowing his thoughts of caring about Castiel, of missing him, to be prominent. Slowly, Castiel nodded, and helped Sam clear a space. The angel watched as Sam managed to fold his ridiculously long legs to sit comfortably.

“Are you happy, Castiel?” Sam asked softly, picking up Legos and arranging them carefully to begin a tower similar to the one Castiel was building. Castiel made a soft noise, and Sam looked up at him.

“Yes,” Castiel whispered. His eyes shone with unshed tears, and Sam watched him carefully. He knew Castiel was expecting Sam to ask him for his help, expecting Sam to do what Dean had done, tell him to snap out of it, tell him they need him. Sam smiled.

“Good.” 

He looked down again to watch his hands as he locked pieces together. 

“Is that all?” Castiel asked in surprise. Sam hummed. “Sam? That's all you wanted to ask me?” Sam sighed and looked up. He rested his elbow on his knee and propped up his head on his hand.

“The day that I met you,” he began, “I was so excited. I spent my entire life believing in God, in angels. I prayed every night. When Dean introduced me to you, I knew, with my whole being, that things were going to be okay. And then, you were hesitant to touch me.” Castiel bit his lip, cringing at the words. “You knew me only as the boy with the demon blood. It hurt. I stopped praying that day. I figured, if no one was listening, if no one cared, why bother, you know?” Castiel shook his head slowly, but he did know. Sam smiled. “Then, you were suddenly fighting on our team, for real. And I guess, sure, it was a bit too late, cause I went and...” Sam closed his eyes. “Let Lucifer out. But God brought you back to life, and got us away from Lucifer, and He cleaned my blood. When... when you started to Fall, Castiel, I started praying again. I prayed you wouldn't Fall. Every night, I asked God, please don't let him Fall. Please let him stay an angel, please.” Sam shook his head, a self-deprecating smiled on his face. “Stupid huh?”

“God didn't let me fall,” Castiel reminded him gently. “He gave me my Grace back again.”

“For what?” Sam asked. “So you could fight for your life every day to keep Raphael from restarting the Apocalypse? So Dean and I could call you down constantly to ask you stupid, useless questions? I didn't even have a soul, but I... I just wanted to see you.” The words were choked, and Sam's voice broke on 'wanted'. “We used you so much... Castiel, I don't care what problems we're having anymore, I'm just... I'm just glad that you're finally happy.” 

Castiel pushed the Legos aside and scooted closer to Sam, leaning forward to hug him. Sam took it better this time, wrapping his arms around Castiel and burying his face in the angel's shoulder. The position was a bit awkward, and Castiel murmured discomfort before shifting into Sam's lap. Though he curled into Sam, Sam felt safe and protected, like he was wrapped in warmth and love.

“I'm sorry we broke you,” Sam whispered. Castiel only squeezed him tighter.

“It can only get better,” he muttered. Sam chuckled. 

“Yeah. If we die, we don't have to deal with the Leviathans anymore.” 

Castiel giggled, actually giggled, and patted Sam's back. “See?” Sam smiled and gently pushed Castiel back. He needed to go help Dean. He got to his feet, ruffled Castiel's hair, and headed for the door. There, he paused, and looked back. 

“I was always jealous of Dean,” he said. Castiel tilted his head.

“Why?”

“Because of how you looked at him.” Sam smiled. “Did you know... I was in love with you?” He walked out, leaving Castiel alone, and Castiel stared at the door. Something flickered to life in his eyes, in his Grace, and fear filled his veins like ice. With just a few words, Sam managed to shatter Castiel all over again, and piece him into something new. Something, he realized, whole.


End file.
